The Strength of a Feminine Woman

https://youtu.be/6OTmHvPCWSY?si=Q8znffP047ejJFc_ (Watch this if you have the time!)

Mama Mary nailing a spike through a demon's horned head.

" But lo! suddenly in the midst of the glory of the king his golden shield was dimmed.... Dark fell about him....

Snowmane wild with terror stood up on high, fighting with the air, and then with a great scream he crashed upon his side: a black dart had pierced him. The king fell beneath him.

The great shadow descended like a falling cloud. And behold! it was a winged creature: if bird, then greater than all other birds, and it was naked, and neither quill nor feather did it bear, and its vast pinions were as webs of hide between horned fingers; and it stank.... Down, down it came, and then, folding its fingered webs, it gave a croaking cry, and settled upon the body of Snowmane, digging in its claws, stooping its long naked neck.

Upon it sat a shape, black-mantled, huge and threatening. A crown of steel he bore, but between rim and robe naught was there to see, save only a deadly gleam of eyes: the Lord of the Nazgûl.... bringing ruin, turning hope to despair, and victory to death. A great black mace he wielded.

But Théoden was not utterly forsaken. The knights of his house lay slain about him.... Yet one stood there still: Dernhelm the young, faithful beyond fear; and he wept, for he had loved his lord as a father. Right through the charge Merry had been borne unharmed behind him, until the Shadow came; and then Windfola had thrown them in his terror.... Merry crawled on all fours like a dazed beast, and such a horror was on him that he was blind and sick.... He dared not open his eyes or look up.

Then out of the blackness in his mind he thought that he heard Dernhelm speaking; yet now the voice seemed strange, recalling some other voice that he had known.

'Begone, foul dwimmerlaik, lord of carrion! Leave the dead in peace!'

A cold voice answered: 'Come not between the Nazgûl and his prey! Or he will not slay thee in thy turn. He will bear thee away to the houses of lamentation, beyond all darkness, where thy flesh shall be devoured, and thy shrivelled mind be left naked to the Lidless Eye.'

A sword rang as it was drawn. 'Do what you will; but I will hinder it, if I may.'

'Hinder me? Thou fool. No living man may hinder me!'

Then Merry heard of all sounds in that hour the strangest. It seemed that Dernhelm laughed.... 'But no living man am I! You look upon a woman. Éowyn I am, Éomund's daughter. You stand between me and my lord and kin. Begone, if you be not deathless! For living or dark undead, I will smite you, if you touch him.'

The winged creature screamed at her, but the Ringwraith made no answer, and was silent, as if in sudden doubt. Very amazement for a moment conquered Merry's fear. He opened his eyes, and the blackness was lifted from them. There some paces from him sat the great beast..., and above it loomed the Nazgûl Lord like a shadow of despair. A little to the left facing them stood she whom he had called Dernhelm. But the helm of her secrecy had fallen from her, and her bright hair... gleamed with pale gold upon her shoulders. Her eyes grey as the sea were hard and fell, and yet tears were on her cheek. A sword was in her hand, and she raised her shield against the horror of her enemy's eyes.

Éowyn it was, and Dernhelm also. For into Merry's mind flashed the memory of the face that he saw at the riding from Dunharrow: the face of one that goes seeking death, having no hope. Pity filled his heart..., and suddenly the slow-kindled courage of his race awoke. He clenched his hand. She should not die, so fair, so desperate. At least she should not die alone, unaided.

The face of their enemy was not turned towards him, but still he hardly dared to move.... Slowly, slowly he began to crawl aside; but the Black Captain, in doubt and malice intent upon the woman before him, heeded him no more than a worm in the mud.

Suddenly the great beast beat its hideous wings.... Again, it leaped into the air, and then swiftly fell down upon Éowyn, shrieking, striking with beak and claw.

Still, she did not blench: maiden of the Rohirrim, child of kings..., fair but terrible. A swift stroke she dealt, skilled and deadly. The outstretched neck she clove asunder, and the hewn head fell like a stone. Backward she sprang as the huge shape crashed to ruin, vast wings outspread, crumpled on the earth; and with its fall the shadow passed away. A light fell about her, and her hair shone in the sunrise.

Out of the wreck rose the Black Rider, tall and threatening, towering above her. With a cry of hatred that stung the very ears like venom he let fall his mace. Her shield was shivered in many pieces, and her arm was broken; she stumbled to her knees. He bent over her like a cloud, and his eyes glittered; he raised his mace to kill.

But suddenly he too stumbled forward with a cry of bitter pain, and his stroke went wide, driving into the ground. Merry's sword had stabbed him from behind, shearing through the black mantle, and passing up beneath the hauberk had pierced the sinew behind his mighty knee.

'Éowyn! Éowyn!' cried Merry. Then tottering, struggling up, with her last strength she drove her sword between crown and mantle, as the great shoulders bowed before her. The sword broke sparkling into many shards. The crown rolled away with a clang. Éowyn fell forward upon her fallen foe. But lo! the mantle and hauberk were empty. Shapeless they lay now on the ground...; and a cry went up into the shuddering air, and faded to a shrill wailing..., a voice bodiless and thin that died, and was swallowed up, and was never heard again in that age of this world. "

(An excerpt from The Return of the King, Lord of the Rings, Bk. 5, Chap. 6, The Battle of the Pelennor Fields, describing Eowyn's moment of victory over the Witch King of Angmar.)

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Holy guacamole! Not only is this excerpt from Tolkien an incredible example of stunning literature, but it's also a potent wake-up call to women in this world full of Witch Kings and Nazgul.

I mean, seriously.

C'mon authors! I beseech you all, most ardently! Humanity is in desperate need of more fictional female role models like Eowyn.

Due to various (and recent) developments in the ugly sides of humanity's identity crisis, women (and men as well) have forsaken and lost sight of their divine roles to uphold in this dramatic and yet beautiful comedy of life. (I say comedy because those who follow after Christ with their whole hearts will experience the happiest ending of bliss and harmony in heaven! :) Trust me! I need this reminder more than anyone in the world, because from my perspective, Life seems so often a tragedy instead.) Honestly! What truly constitutes femininity? What about masculinity?

Let me be completely real with you, reader.

For most of my life, I've definitely been a tomboy. Like yeah... It's kind of cringy looking back now!

Even now, I would never consider myself very elegant or refined, and I have a "gumpiness" about me that certainly suits me yet does nothing to help ease my clumsiness and boyishness. I am fascinated with subjects and activities most girls would turn their noses at, and I am revulsed by "ladylike" notions that seem ridiculous and quite excessive to me. "I'm not like other girls," LOL! (I'm just kidding. :)

But to return to my point here, I want to touch on the fact that I have long struggled with the fantastical idea of "femininity" and "being a woman."

* * *

To be crystal clear, I have never doubted that I am a woman, because... Well! I am one. Every month for several years now, I have had to learn how to kindly carry the cross of the Crimson Tide and bear it with serenity. I have trained myself to keep my eyes focused not on the discomfort I feel, but on fostering motherly instincts and hoping for future pregnancies, knowing that the pain I experience now is far less than what I must be willing to handle for the sake of my beloved children (God-willing). So yeah! The fact that I am a woman and will always be one has been OBVIOUS for me.

* * *

But have I always known how to be a woman? Or more specifically, how to be a Godly woman?

Goodness, no.

In middle school, I firmly believed that if I was taller and faster than all the boys, I was by far the most dominant girl in the room (which I was, but that's entirely beside the point ;). Most of my friends were boys, and if there was a group of young men running around at recess, wrestling and beating each other up, I was usually in the thick of it.

That was until boys started to become really stupid. (Sorry, guys!)

I was appalled at their grotesque and profoundly dumb comments, and their jokes weren't even funny anymore! They no longer cared to play tag or draw silly doodles of farts and turds. Instead, they turned into cocky, selfish weasels whose ONLY purpose for existing was to have the most expensive shoes and shoot the most baskets from the farthest away in basketball. What happened to the boys who pretended to be astronauts and cowboys with me? They had grown up and were continuously growing into bad habits and personality traits.

I was absolutely confused, but I did realize that I didn't want to hang around them anymore.

So, who did I turn to?

Who did I choose to be my new friends?

Girls, of course.

But they were the types of girls who flirted endlessly with the boys, which annoyed me thoroughly.

Why fraternize with the smelly enemy? I wanted to ask them.

But they only ignored me and giggled at some idiotic comment their "boyfriend" just told.

For a while, I admit I tried to be like that- silly, girly and frilly.

But I literally just couldn't.

Haha! It's not in my nature to giggle at something that's just not funny.

Therefore, I made it my utmost goal to achieve a humor BETTER than any boy's.

And ya know what? It worked! At least I thought I was the funniest person in the room anyway.

Actually, I'm quite thankful for that goal of mine! Because in many ways it encouraged me to discover my (awesome) character and personality. (I'm not being prideful, I promise! As much as I believe that I have a great personality, I'm at the same time 99% sure I have the worst personality.)

William Arthur Ward wisely says, "A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life."

But I'm getting sidetracked and I'm not going to blab the whole time about how funny I am... (Because you should already know! ;)

My objective in explaining my past point of views is this:

The hidden jewel of true femininity and female strength has been buried a thousand leagues below the surface of common belief by our culture that to find it you must dig through every possible construct of false womanhood there is.

And there are definitely a couple fake faces for femininity.

Let's go through them, shall we?

* * *

1. The VENOMOUS Feminist.

In my most humble and unimportant opinion, I have concluded that a woman who considers herself a "feminist" doesn't really understand the word feminine at all.

When one searches Google for the definition of "feminine," it will give you this deduction: having qualities or an appearance traditionally associated with women or girls. Granted, it's not an outstanding definition, but it serves its purpose fairly well in this case.

How can someone call themselves a "feminist" when they promote every possible attack on the qualities traditionally associated with women and girls? A modern-day feminist should really be called a "masculinist" or something of that sort, for they truly just want women to be more like men.

Yet, they claim to hate men.

The paradoxical agenda of the "gender equality" movement screams, "Women and men are equal!" and yet in the same breath says, "Men are pigs!" Feminists don't know what they want! They want to be treated the same as men, and yet snarl at anything authentically masculine. (I guess that goes to show what diabolical disorientation can do to such a rich thing as divine identity.)

You see, true femininity bolsters men onwards towards truer and greater masculinity, which consequently inspires women into further cooperation with their feminine richness. It's a cycle of melody and harmony, masculinity and femininity, giving and receiving. And 9 times out of 10, this cycle starts with a woman who proclaims a passionate "Yes!" to her inner, instinctive feminine strength. A woman's quiet influence, steadfast reassurance and hidden presence can ignite a roaring fire inside the heart of a man, unlike anything else can.

A man is really only as strong as his woman, which can seem like a daunting task for any lady who's trying to be holy.

Remember, sisters, that even though it was a woman who convinced man to eat from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, humanity's downfall came because her man was not devotedly guarding her from the dreaded dragon who lurked in the paradise of Eden and knew very well how to attack the feminine weakness (which we'll touch on later).

For the ladies who long to be married, I tell you fervently that you must focus only on the Lord when seeking a partner and sprint recklessly after Him, for if God wills it, a man will catch up to you and introduce himself with a tenderness that pierces your heart.

And I can promise you this:

When he finds you, you will not have to be anyone except who you were created to be. Like Eve, who was woven from Adam's own rib, you must simply exist and radiate with the love of God, so that, like Adam, your male counterpart may behold you and exclaim,

"This one, at last, is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh;

This one shall be called 'woman,' for

out of man this one has been taken."

Please notice, dear reader, that while Adam had been carved from the dusty husk of the Earth, Eve was woven intricately from her husband's rib (which we all know is a bone that secures the safety of someone's vital internal organs, like their heart). Adam, after his creation, found himself alone in the presence of God, and his loneliness was so unbearable that he was willing to give anything to have the eternal company of a creature LIKE HIM with whom he could live in incandescent happiness. And God, the most devoted and adoring Father, who knows the cries of our hearts even when they are too deep for words, cast a profound slumber over the man so that He could surprise him with the love of his life when he wakes. (God really is a romantic God. Change my mind! ;) So, when Adam's heavy eyes opened from sleep at last, he discovered very quickly (and with some alarm) that the God-given breath in his lungs was momentarily stolen from him as he gasped and gazed upon the loveliest, most dazzling creature he ever laid sight upon. How his vernal heart must have beat madly in his chest and his virginal flesh quivered with ecstasy when he gazed upon his perfect partner, Eve!

Before I go any further, I assure you that I'm not alluding to any sort of beastly lust raging inside him which waited to pounce on Eve and use her for his own consumption. The wild and uncontrollable attributes of Lust, after all, are twisted and warped from their original design in the blueprint of marital love. The adventure, excitement and wonder-lust one feels when beholding their beloved is a very real and very beautiful thing. The mad thumping of the heart, the nervous jitter in the stomach, the passionate nobility of the intellect- all these things were ordered thoroughly holy in Adam's being.

How shy and innocent this intimate encounter between the first man and the first woman must have been!

What was racing through Adam's head as he frantically tried to scramble together something to say to this stunning woman?

He didn't have any love songs or poems to copy off of.

Kind and amiable Adam simply looked at her and told her how complete he was when he was in her breathtaking presence.

Then Eve glared at him with venomous eyes and stalked away, disgusted, "Ugh! I don't need him! How dare he think that I exist solely for him! What a troll!"

Hmm...? Yeah, no.

You see (at least in my mind), I don't think Eve would have been spewing that toxic poison of "Down with the Patriarchy!" and "I can do everything a man can do, and more!"

She understood with crystalline clarity what her divine identity was.

She understood that she was created to fill a void that man was unable to and be everything man couldn't be.

God had ordained the flowering of her creation in such a way that she could recognize with absolute certainty the reasons why she perfected the world around her and made it complete. To show Eve that she was inherently equal in dignity to her partner, God drew her from the side of the man, signifying their exactly balanced roles in God's plan. To show that she was a sacred and long-awaited treasure, God contrived for Adam to be immersed in expectant and yet impatient rest as she was meticulously formed. To show her how penetrating her existence was, Adam exclaimed with bottomless affection how wonderful it was that she had been taken from his very own flesh and his very own heart. Without her, a lonely space in his heart had always been and would always be empty! Adam was fashioned from the dirt, and Eve was fashioned from Adam. How encouraging it was for the man to see such beauty drawn lovingly from his rugged nature! Eve would have smiled brightly when Adam praised her and blushed like a rose at the rising of a pink dawn.

This, my reader, is what femininity is.

Not necessarily the blushing and roses, but the delicate act of smoothing down the rough and unempathetic edges of masculinity.

Think about it!

This is what precisely what motherhood is about. What qualities does a virtuous mother have? The Book of Proverbs puts its far better than I can:

"10 Who can find a woman of worth?

Far beyond jewels is her value.

11 Her husband trusts her judgment;

he does not lack income.

12 She brings him profit, not loss,

all the days of her life.

13 She seeks out wool and flax

and weaves with skillful hands.

14 Like a merchant fleet,

she secures her provisions from afar.

15 She rises while it is still night,

and distributes food to her household,

a portion to her maidservants.

16 She picks out a field and acquires it;

from her earnings she plants a vineyard.

17 She girds herself with strength;

she exerts her arms with vigor.

18 She enjoys the profit from her dealings;

her lamp is never extinguished at night.

19 She puts her hands to the distaff,

and her fingers ply the spindle.

20 She reaches out her hands to the poor,

and extends her arms to the needy.

21 She is not concerned for her household when it snows—

all her charges are doubly clothed.

22 She makes her own coverlets;

fine linen and purple are her clothing.

23 Her husband is prominent at the city gates

as he sits with the elders of the land.

24 She makes garments and sells them,

and stocks the merchants with belts.

25 She is clothed with strength and dignity,

and laughs at the days to come.

26 She opens her mouth in wisdom;

kindly instruction is on her tongue.

27 She watches over the affairs of her household,

and does not eat the bread of idleness.

28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;

her husband, too, praises her:

29 “Many are the women of proven worth,

but you have excelled them all.”

30 Charm is deceptive and beauty fleeting;

the woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

31 Acclaim her for the work of her hands,

and let her deeds praise her at the city gates."

A Godly woman utilizes her compelling feminine strength to nurture both the weak and strong around her, to better cultivate the culture of her peers, and to be the unfailingly warm embrace that revives her loved ones when their will to defeat the foe and win the never-ending battle is frigid, fragile and cold.

But because the divine identity of a woman can sometimes be perceived as performed "backstage," her calling to remain the silent yet steadfast refuge behind the wreckage can easily give way to another false face of femininity, which we will now discuss...

* * *

2. The DETESTABLE Damsel in Distress.

Like I said earlier, silly, frilly and "girlie" activities/hobbies have never been my specific forte.

As a spunky and spirited child, I used to detest the inescapable fate of certain holidays where I had to wear a dress, put on sparkly shoes, act proper and brush my stinking' hair for Pete's sake! I mean-seriously! SHEESH!

It seemed to me like being a "young lady" involved a lot of highly unnecessary fuss and fluff.

I didn't want any part of it, and besides! I simply was not elegant, polite and poised by nature.

Thus, with the aid of my own set of weaknesses, I have always tended to lean toward the lie of the "venomous feminist," rather than the one I am going to describe now: the detestable Damsel in Distress.

Now, let me be quite clear in what I mean by that.

When I use the phrase "Damsel in Distress," I am trying to capture in one sentence the sentiments of a woman who is content with perpetuating the drama she weaves when she longs for someone to love and adore her, yet simultaneously desires to remain where she is and who she is without giving her talents and strength to anyone out of fear she will lose more than gain by this extension of herself into a world full of dragons and warlocks.

(Phewf! Let me just take a quick breath after all that!)

To simplify my definition, this other false face of femininity is grounded mainly in selfishness and vanity.

An easy way to diagnose this in a woman is if you notice she has the characteristics of "snootiness," an obsessive liking for futile things and dreams, and/or flirtatious language around men.

The detestable Damsel in Distress is exactly like the Venomous Feminist in the most opposite way.

Instead of trying to develop every manly trait like the Feminist, the Damsel in Distress will water the weed of every feminine weakness, like vanity, seductiveness and competitiveness.

If you carefully read the account of the serpent in the garden, you soon see with dismay that he knew these feminine weaknesses and targeted them during his dialogue with Eve as he tempted her with the fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.

Firstly, he targets her vanity when he rhetorically asks, "Has God indeed said, ‘You shall not eat of every tree of the garden’?”

O, such a pointless question! Eve knew what God had said. She answers back truthfully, defending her God, though a seed of confusion has already been planted in her mind.

For despite her honest response, the serpent hisses his contradiction, telling her that they will not die if they eat of the Forbidden Tree's fruit. This fosters a certain competitiveness with God, for she begins to distrust his Word and therefore places her trust in the serpent's opinion and her own.

To finish it off, she "seduces" her husband to partake in consuming the prohibited food, and their eyes are opened to their former innocence and nakedness.

O, women of God! Do not take after Eve, Mother of the Living, but look to the Blessed Virgin Mary, who carried within her womb not the fruit of condemnation and death, but of salvation and eternity!

That is why the false face of the "Damsel in Distress" is so detrimental to the feminine truth.

Because it embodies the distortion of everything beautiful about womanhood.

Vanity and pointless worry are weaknesses because real femininity has high regard for wisdom, trust and tactfulness. Seductiveness is a weakness because real femininity hides its precious beauty behind blue and gold veils, waiting for the appointed man to come and carry them over the threshold of intimacy, where lies the woman's freely given revelation of loveliness. Competitiveness is a weakness because real femininity has great value for the vitality of everyone's role to play in the drama of Life.

On top of all this and because of all this, women who put on the false face of a detestable Damsel in Distress are so incredibly weak!

Let's compare, for example, the stepsisters in Cinderella to Cinderella herself.

Not only were the stepsisters petty, rude and ridiculous, but they were also very competitive with each other and Cinderella. In the 2015 live-action movie adaption, the scene at the ball even shows the sisters attempting to seduce the prince with their beauty.

Compared to the charming, selfless, wise, uncompromisable and thoughtful Cinderella, the sisters simply appear flat, frilly and just plain not-worth-anyone's-time.

“This is perhaps the greatest risk that any of us will take, to be seen as we truly are.”

~ Ella's Fairy Godmother in Cinderella 2015

A Godly woman draws her strength not from her own ideals about who she wants to be or who she perceives herself to be, but only from the undeniable fact of who she is as a Beloved Daughter of a God whom she knows is in love with every silken hair on her honey-soft head and every freckle scattered like a constellation across her button nose. She wields her gifts of wisdom, beauty and nurturing encouragement to build up those around her, and not build up herself. She cloaks herself in secrecy as she travels the battlefield, whispering words of sunshine to those who live in darkness. And when she stumbles upon a situation in which she must absolutely unveil her mantle to defend her loved ones around her, she does it with a courage that only a woman's heart can yield.

* * *

Wow, okay! So that took way longer to explain than I thought it would. XD (Oh well!)

I sincerely hope that by delving into those two false faces of femininity, you, my reader, can now see the singular truth of Godly, divine feminine strength.

I hope you can see that in between the "Venomous Feminist" and "the Detestable Damsel in Distress" there is a paradise on top of a lofty mountain called "Divine Femininity."

And at that peak in the celestial clouds, there stands a woman clothed with the sun, with the moon under her feet and on her head a crown of twelve stars. She gazes with gentle, compassionate eyes on all those women who are climbing the mountain below her, reaching out in faith and stepping ever onward in charity, light and trust.

Her crown slips softly down her brow as she bows her head, praying for each and every soul ascending the mount. She holds her darling child, Jesus Christ, in her lap and presses Him close to her heart.

Her daughters in unison lift their voices the God, crying,

"Our King Jesus Christ, as we climb together as daughters of the King, we praise you for who you are and what you have done. We pray that you would guard our hearts against jealousy and comparison with each other. Strengthen us in our areas of weakness, so that we may develop a virtuous character in your likeness. Fortify our minds with your armor to protect us against the attacks of the enemy and the lies of the world. We thank you that your care for us is unending as we walk in your path. May we be women of prayer in constant communion with you. Amen!"

(paraphrased and taken from the website 11 Inspirational Prayers for Women’s Groups – ConnectUS (connectusfund.org)

~ K.k.W.

October 18, 2023; 1:15 a.m.