Who Are YOU Living For?

Statue of Saint Paul outside of St. Paul's Cathedral.

"14 For the love of Christ urges us on, because we are convinced that one has died for all; therefore all have died. 15 And he died for all, so that those who live might live no longer for themselves, but for him who died and was raised for them."

~ (2 Corinthians 5: 14-21)

...

To be completely honest with you, I used to feel kind of bad for Saint Paul. I mean, c'mon. Poor guy. He had to endure an insane amount of hardships to be a Christian in his lifetime (spiritually, emotionally AND physically). Seriously though! I have so, so many questions I want to ask him. Like:

Paul, how did you manage to change your whole point of view after your conversion to Christianity? Weren't you extremely devoted to your old lifestyle?

Paul, how did you live with yourself during those years after you just stood by and did nothing as Saint Stephen, your brother in Christ, was beaten to his death with stones? How did you deal with those terrible memories?

Paul, how did you embrace your new faith so readily? How did you love it so easily?

Paul, how did you undergo the countless (and sometimes treacherous) voyages to sow the seeds of the Gospel everywhere? How did you have the courage to preach to the Gentiles, the Pagans, the "unbelievers?"

How did you change your ENTIRE LIFE?

Seriously, Paul.

How did you do it?

HOW?!

Well. In the following lines, I'm going to try and answer my very own questions. (Oh boy! Buckle up!)

But! Before we go on. Let's zero in on the most important, most fundamental, most critical question I asked above: How did Saul, persecutor of Christians, change his entire life?

Or more specifically... How did he redirect his sense of devotion towards Jesus Christ, the Man he once desperately tried to erase all evidence of?

I'll tell you how.

Saint Paul was not a half of a man.

And he did not live a half of a life.

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What exactly do I mean by that?

Here are some compelling excerpts from a poem called "Do Not Love Half Lovers," which was composed by Kahlil Gibran, who was a Lebanese-American writer. In his poem, he charges us:

* * *

"Do not love half-lovers

Do not entertain half-friends

...

Do not live half a life

And do not die a half death

...

If you choose silence, then be silent

When you speak, do so until you are finished

...

If you accept, then express it bluntly

Do not mask it

If you refuse then be clear about it

for an ambiguous refusal is but a weak acceptance

...

Do not believe half truths

Do not dream half a dream

...

Half the way will get you no where

Half an idea will bear you no results

...

Half a life is a life you didn't live,

A word you have not said

...

A love you have not had

A friendship you did not know

...

The half is a mere moment of inability

but you are able for you are not half a being

You are a whole that exists to live a life

not half a life"

* * *

Woah. How many of us truly live that way?

I know I don't.

At least not really.

Sometimes I like to believe I'm always so tenacious, so willing, so passionate to thrust my entire effort into whatever I'm doing.

But I know that's not true.

9 times out of 10, I can barely get out of bed in the morning to get to my job on time.

On time is 8 o'clock.

And the drive is 15 minutes away.

Shouldn't I be more than able to wake up with plenty of time to get ready and be a bundle of sunshine as I drive to work?

(Hah! I scoff bitterly.)

Usually what ends up happening is I wake up and rush around so haphazardly that I almost forget to apply deodorant. More often than I care to admit, I just chew a stick of gum in the morning instead of brushing my teeth. In fact I consider myself lucky if I get the chance to swallow down a granola bar for breakfast. And as sad as this routine is, I hurl my exhausted body so often into my car like a hissing hurricane- furious, disgruntled and disappointed.

"What in the Sam Hill am I doing?" I ask myself, clenching my fists.

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As embarrassing as that was to admit, I can't deny the reality of it.

I give a half of the HALF of the effort I should be giving.

Saint Paul wasn't like that though.

His whole life, he was an immovable man. As a Pharisee, he was passionate, staunch and loyal to his Jewish teachings and customs.

Well, that was until Christ moved him to conversion on the road to Damascus.

After that he was a truly UNSHAKABLE man.

When he was cast from his horse to the rough dirt and the lights from heaven flashed all around him and he heard the heart wrenching voice of Jesus plead with him, "Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?" he needed only one question answered before he surrendered himself all in, "Who are you, Lord?"

One simple question to answer and he would leave his former life behind forever.

It was an irreversible decision.

"I am Jesus," the Lord replied, "whom you are persecuting."

And that was it.

From that point on, Saul ignited the flame of Christianity everywhere he went and stoked it kindly with the many letters he wrote back to his brothers and sisters in Christ. He was undoubtedly one of the most zealous disciples the Gentiles had ever seen and his testimony spread like wildfire amongst the people.

"Isn't Saul the man who used to throw the Christians in prison?"

"Didn't he witness the stoning of that deacon, Stephen?"

I'm sure the people pondered these strange events.

How can a man who was so against something... become that something? And become it so well?

He did it so incredibly well because he knew he couldn't live half a life.

He couldn't be just half of a Christian.

If he was to be a Christian, he was to be a Christian.

If he was going to follow Christ, he was going to follow him all the way, even to Golgotha.

If he wanted to be "saved," he knew he had to be exactly like his Savior.

Once saved, always saved. This was how Saint Paul lived.

No! He didn't just confess that he was a "Christian" in a once-in-a-lifetime sort of ordeal and then go on with his life as if nothing had changed. Certainly not.

He remembered and relived that moment of his conversion every. Single. Day.

Once he became a Christian, he was always a Christian.

Once he knew Jesus Christ was who He said He was, he never forgot it.

Once he was saved, he was always saved.

You see... Saint Paul went ALL IN.

His desire to receive salvation and his longing to be reunited with Christ pushed him to the very limits of his humanity onto the brink of the divine.

After Damascus, he lived no longer for himself, but for "him who died and was raised" for us all.

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If you think about it... the theology of Christianity is just foolish if you don't surrender everything.

It demands so much from a person that to only give half the effort is simply folly.

To be a Christian is to be a "little Christ," correct?

That means we have to strive to be 100% like Jesus in everything we do. It also means we have to listen and put into practice whatever He commands of us.

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind," He zealously requests of the doubter who tests Him.

"Go and sin no more." He softly commands the adulteress.

“Very truly, I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God without being born of water and Spirit," He tells the curious wanderer, "What is born of the flesh is flesh, and what is born of the Spirit is spirit."

Jesus wants ALL of you.

He wants ALL of me.

And He wanted ALL of Saul.

He did not merely want Saul's voice to preach His truth, He did not only want Saul's hand to write down His teachings, He did not simply want Saul's zeal to enliven people souls.

He wanted Saul's HEART.

He wanted his LOVE.

And He wanted Saul to love Him with every single quivering, beating fibre of his heart!

This is what compelled Saul to change his entire life! His Lord demanded it of him!

How can someone not obey the One they love?

* * *

So I encourage you.

If you can sense your faith fading away, do not give in to the slipping of the tide.

Hold on tightly to the love you have for your Lord (however little or great it may be). Grasp onto it until your fists quake and your heart shivers with adoration. Do not let go, even for a second, for your entire life depends on it!

Do not allow your heart to be swayed by the passing pleasures of this world.

The music you listen to will be lost to silence eventually.

The words you speak will remain on your tongue until you die and even then they will feed the worms as your flesh begins to rot and decay.

The selfish, twisted thoughts you harbor in your mind will one day be anchored in their place, and you will experience the anguish of not being able to think of anything else but your own petty, mortal wants.

"Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away," Jesus says, whispering this promise, so solemn and yet so sweet, to remind us that there is a much more important homeland to live for than even the heaven and the earth.

I tell you- do not be discouraged, for discouragement chokes the strength of gleaming Hope we must all cleave onto. Remember Our Lord's words, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Dear Reader,

You have probably heard the phrase, "We are in this world but we are not of this world."

It is such a true phrase and yet so often we forget its real meaning.

We are on Earth because God has willed us to exist- to love, to serve and to know Him.

But Earth is not our home.

It is not our final destination.

The extent of the life we are blessed with is just a pilgrimage to reach our eternal reward.

Earth is not where we belong.

It is a valley of tears, a barricade of misery and a trench of sorrow.

Oh dear reader! Do NOT allow yourself to get bogged down by the tears, the misery and the sorrow.

Keep your eyes fixed on the white light streaming through the ashes that smolder around us.

For that light is a glimpse of heaven.

And we are MADE FOR HEAVEN.

So live like you are.

Live like you are already there.

Then and only then will your life on Earth be beautiful,

because you will be constantly gazing at the Maker of Beauty Himself.

~ K.k.W.

June 20, 2023; 12:02 a.m.